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How do I build positive relationship with my child using children’s books?

Acknowledging the need to build a positive relationship with your child can be a life-changing journey.

For yourself as well as your children that new connection presents a world of opportunity where love and communication can grow and thrive accordingly. Taking the necessary steps to enhance this type of relationship can feel daunting in the beginning, but with the right strategies and verbal techniques, you’ll begin to experience a bond being strengthened and a light within the child. Those who feel connected to their parents at a young age are able to express themselves more and feel confident in who they are becoming. 

There are many ways to go about bonding with your child. One of the most relaxing and beneficial are by reading aloud with your child. Reading aloud using children’s books allows us to focus on the three main ways to build a positive relationship with them.

Here are the 3 main ways to build positive relationship with your child:

1. Making them a priority in our lives
2. Supporting their ideas
3. Giving them opportunities to lead

Now… let’s put these 3 into action so you can start using them immediately! We will break them down one by one:

1. Make Them a Priority in Your Life 

Children need reassurance that they mean something to you in your life. Oftentimes they are unable to adequately express their need for love and may behave irrationally to substitute their feelings. By making an effort to be present and solidify a place for them in your life consistently, kids can feel an immense difference in their lives. 

Storytime creates these opportunities. We can all relate to the feeling of being under one roof with someone ALL day but still feeling as if we do not really know them. This could be something we experience at work OR at home. Shutting off all distractions and focusing on a book can mean a world of difference. When read-aloud time is done consistently, it helps to shape a routine of intimate one-on-one time with your children.

When we read with our kids, we step outside of the noise, the hustle, the friction, and for just a few minutes, we are completely and totally present with them.

The Read-Aloud Family

2. Support Your Child’s Ideas 

When you’re younger, the world can seem so big, and children are fearless about what they can come up with in their minds. It is when they are dismissed and shut down that they lose a lot of their spark that makes them unique. When children share their ideas, they not only come to you with excitement and trust, but they genuinely believe in what they are saying. Instead of shutting your child out and making them feel incapable, hear them out. Even if it’s just a conversation, nourish their mind to sustain big thinking and make a point to understand their thought process. 

This can be done at any time, but storytime presents plenty of opportunities for this.

Here are some examples of how read-aloud time can be used to support our children’s ideas:

1. Let them choose the story
2. Ask open-ended questions during reading time. Giving them time to answer thoroughly allows them to feel heard and their thoughts appreciated
3. During the story, ask questions like, “Is that how you would have done it? If not, how?”
4. Devote time to the illustrations. Ask them to close their eyes and describe a character they’d add to the story. Or simply ask them to describe what they see and what they would add to make it better.
5. Allow them to make up their own ending to the story. Encourage them to be creative and not be concerned with sounding silly. As a matter of fact, encourage and support the silliness

3. Give Opportunities to Lead 

Building a positive relationship starts with trust. Your child wants nothing more than for you to allow them to show you that you trust them, even if it’s with the littlest task. By offering an opportunity to lead, it can create a boost of confidence in children and create a form of independence that they desperately seek. Even if it’s a small job around the house, creating those moments for them to be a leader is incredibly important in building strong qualities and strengthen the connection between a child and parent. 

Allow them to lead by:

1. Letting them pick out the book. Yes, even if it is the same one over and over. Kids love repetition!
2. For littles, allow them to turn the pages. (This could mean practicing patience for you.. I know it tested my patience a bit at first!)
3. Who saved the day in the story? Was the main character the hero? Share with your child that they also have the power within them to do those same things! Remind them of a time that they did. 

When we read to our children and allow time for discussion, children discover more about who they are and begin to understand us as well. When it comes to building a positive relationship with your child, create a safe space for them to explore who you are and give them permission to freely express who they are as well. In learning and understanding one another, it presents the opportunity for them to grow to be responsible and caring humans ❤️. 

Do you need help using storytime to bond with your child? Not sure what questions to ask or HOW to communicate?  ⤵️

Sign up here to gain access to our Resource Library. You’ll find a list of open-ended questions to help amp up storytime AND a list of 35 little ways to make time for reading.

❤️ Quinn